I cut my hair off not too long ago and, much to my dismay, I lost my curls. I had straight hair as a kid until puberty did a number on me. First my bangs separated and got frizzy. Not too tough to handle cause I just pulled the bangs back. Then, faster than you can say humidity, my whole head looked like it had been through a crimping iron set to 10 and worked on in a hot tub.
It took me, my sisters, mom and aunt over a year to realize that it wasn’t that I didn’t brush my hair enough. I was brushing it way too much. My hair way curly and I was to “mouse and diffuse”, as my aunt Cecilia so astutely realized. It was a freaking nightmare for me as a 12 year old because it was a time in the late 80’s early 90’s when big hair was no longer in style. And, despite my greatest effort, I couldn’t get myself not to look like a Madonna circa 1980 impersonator.
Anyway as things got better, the curls became more defined and overall I felt better about the change. Eventually I would resist all attempts at blow out as the slightest gust of wind or increase in humidity, real or imaginary, would cause what I call a halo of frizz on my head. Or, more commonly, sore arms from a 2 hour effort with the wrong hairdryer, the wrong brush and the wrong product. Resulting in me with my head upside down in the sink washing out a hideous hairdo and the burnt bits of my hair that were still hanging on with serum and the Holy Spirit. I would have put Crazy Glue in my hair if I thought it would make it look better.
So, now, I’m getting what I thought I always wanted. My hair is turning straight in the reverse order in which it got curly. Back to front. If you put a curly wig on top of a straight wig, you will get the idea of what my hair looks like right now. I’m hoping at the end of this new change my hair will at least have something of a wave. I hadn’t realized how much I had defined myself by my curl. How much I liked myself as that girl with the unruly hair. And, although I know he will always love me, I know Andres prefers me with the curlier hair.
I know every time I cut my hair I am taking off a little bit of what I came to like so much about myself. But, just as there was nothing I could do to prevent the first change, there’s nothing I can do to prevent this one. I just want the process to speed up a little cause, I won’t lie, I’m looking forward to some bangs!!
