Me vs Mimi

My cat is named after Mariah Carey. Who, if you recall, released an amazing album in the 90' or the 2000's entitiled The Emancipation of Mimi.

When I first found her, Mimi was a kitten. The cutest thing ever. Our relationship can be described as the typical cool girl in school versus the nerdy, not very cool girl in school scenario. Me being the nerd. Her being the evil, slutty, diva, bitch. We all know who that is. I hate her right now but have admit, she's pretty.

Cat's are not like dogs. They are super hard to train and are insanely stubborn. If they don't like you, they won't come to you no matter how amazing the rub-down you are offering or for unbelievable sums of cash. If you were hanging from the ledge of a precipice, they would not summon help for you a-la Bengi. They would just watch, oddly perplexed as to why you haven't filled their food bowl. At times it is as though they are actually trying to kill you.

Mimi pees on the refrigerator. Not everyday but enough for me to hate her. I have done some very thorough online research on this subject on both the Pet Smart website and the numerous cat lover website forums.

Diagnosis: Inappropriate Urination

Apparently this is a territorial problem. The culprit most likely being my neighbor's cat, Tiger. Tiger has been frequenting my backyard as of late. Sun bathing in the backyard. I myself am afraid of this cat. He is entirely too friendly with his purring and good nature. Not normal.

I often ask myself, "what would Cesar Milan do?" I think he would, number 1, never even own a cat. So I got nothing.

Sometimes I'm a Fatty

I'm recovering from eating a giant ice-cream. It was amazing. But now I can't shake the guilty feeling. Why so guilty?? I exercise. I eat mostly right. Shouldn't I allow myself guiltless pleasure and 300 delicious extra calories?

I'm blaming my stupid cat for this. She is so fat ever since I got her fixed. All she does is eat, sleep and pee on the freaking refrigerator. She's trying to tell me something. I'm pretty sure it's that I shouldn't be eating ice-cream.

My Facebook Posts from the 90's

The following is a list of my personal status updates if FB was around in the 90's when I was in middle and high school.

The Chupacabra ate my homework.

Shout out to my homies at Rockway Elementary!!

Tickets to Poison this weekend!!

Tickets to Billy Idol this weekend!!

New Year's at G-n-R!!

Wackest band ever opened for Guns and Roses. Soundgarden, WTF?? The singer sounded like super screechy.

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain. You totally suck.

Xmas tree design on the admittance test for St. B. Hope I don't make it.

Bass or Dexter WTF??

I can't believe Arsenio Hall was canceled!! Always wanted to be in the dog pound. HOo!! HOoHOo!!

Pulled an all nighter Tyson's Knock Out.

I don't care, Short Circuit is still one of my favorite movies ever . NUMBER FIVE ALLLIIIVVVEEE!!! I want a robot.

Come to the Hungry Sailor tonight to check out my brother Rudy's BAAAND!!!

I can't believe they won't let us twist the chains on the giant swing at the Youth Fair.

Does the carnie that runs the Himalaya only own one Def Lepard album or what?? If I hear Pour Some Sugar on Me one more time...

MDCC, 13th grade.

2011 Resolution

I will sleep in the sun on cold days and in the shade on hot days. I will keep all my everything clean with a spit shine. I will try to escape the house more often. I will figure out a way onto the roof. I will hunt more. I will chase things. I will demand more massages.

I might exercise more. I might nap more. I might stretch more. I might whine more. I might show everyone how much I like them. I might ignore them completely.


But, if you upset me, I will pee on your shoes. For this year, I resolve to be more like my cat.

Signs of Life

Last summer I tried my first triathlon. On the morning of my first race I stood petrified, staring at the water until the sound of the horn shocked me into motion. At that moment one thought sprung into my head and remained for the duration of the race, "Elena, this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. Why are you here??"

Currently, I am training for my third triathlon. This summer I will tackle an Olympic distance. That's twice the length of the torture I put myself through last year. This is the closest I'll get to "the" Olympics in this lifetime, for this or any event. I am excited and, of course, very scared. The training is long and boring. I spend a lot of time alone. Running. Thinking, "I should ride my bike more" but not doing it. And, most often in the pool, asking myself that question, "what are you doing here?" My mind betrays me. It tries to psyche me out.

When I am at my lowest I think about my Dad. He passed away a few years ago. He never saw me do anything like what I am doing right now. If he had, he would have thought one of two things. Either that I was completely crazy and reckless or that I am a badass. I like to imagine he thinks me a total badass.

Just before something really challenging I imagine him watching at the bleachers or on a faraway lawn chair. Beer in one hand, my mom in the other. Cheering me on. Yelling, as he always, did, "Eleeenaaaaaa!! Cuchillo en la boca!!"

Where to Go Miami

I love to eat. I love to go out. I love Miami!!!

Here is a short list of the places I'd love to go for Valentine's Day. I hope to see you there!!



The Standard Hotel- I've been here a few time for drinks at the bar inside the lobby. I've always wanted to have dinner outside. Make reservations!!
http://www.standardhotels.com/miami/restaurants/lido-restaurant-bayside-grill/

Andiamo Pizza- We've been going to this spot for a long time and have witnessed the growth of the neighborhood. There's even a spooky house nearby that I want. Do a bottle of wine and a pizza.
http://andiamopizzamiami.com/

Soya and Pomodoro- This place is a little treasure. You have to know it's there to find it. Go through the trouble, it's worth it.
http://www.miami.com/soya-y-pomodoro

Graziano's Brickell- My hubby popped the question at Graziano's in Miami so I will always have a soft place in my heart for all things Graziano's. This one is a bit more special because it's new! I'm thinking there won't be as long a wait as the original Graziano's and you can count on the food being AMAZING!!
http://www.yelp.com/biz/grazianos-brickell-miami)

The Raleigh Hotel Sobe- Great for drinks. I've never eaten here so I can't tell you whether the food's good. I just love the decor.
http://www.raleighhotel.com/valentinesSpecial.php

Casale Pizzeria- I've got an italien friend who says this place is "just like Italy." I don't need anymore confirmation. I go. Then I dance the night away next door at Purdy Lounge.
http://www.casalepizzeria.com/

The Boaters Grill- Way off the beaten path. You might want to take mosquito repellent but definitely romantic.
http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/12/150627/restaurant/Miami/Boaters-Grill-Key-Biscayne

Le Tub- This place is not in Miami. And when you get there you might have to wait a long time for your burger. And you might have to get up to serve your own water. BUT!! It will be the biggest, most amazing burger of your life. You might not be thinking burgers on Valentine's day. I say, consider the burger. It's de-lish. And the setting is, despite all the toilets, beautiful.
http://www.theletub.com/default.asp

2010 Valentine's Day Love Songs

In the spirit of all that is cheesy and wonderful about Valentine's Day, I have created a beautifully delicious mix. I tried to stay as far as possible from your typical love songs. I was thinking fresh, lovely and, of course, sexy. Let's call it the, "Off the Beaten Path Valentine's Day Mix." It's a little folky, a little funky and a little unexpected.

1. Worrisome Heart- Melody Gardot
2. Three More Days- Ray LaMontagne
3. In Luv With U- Los Amigos Invisibles
4. Love Ain't Gonna Let you Down- Jamie Cullum
5. Dr. Feelgood- Aretha Franklin
6. Possession- Sarah McLachlan
7. Is This Love- Bob Marley
8. If You Want My Body- Rod Stewart
9. Electric Feel- MGMT
10. Arms of a Woman- Amos Lee